Real Advice From a Girl: How to Successfully Score a Second Date with Me

8 Feb , 2013  



Earlier this week we posted Real Advice From a Girl: How to Get a First Date, but in case you’ve already mastered that and need to move on to the next step, here’s how to successfully secure a meeting with you and your current heart throb.


So you’ve already gotten past the gut-wrenching task of asking me out, I’ve said yes, we’ve decided upon a place and time to meet for our first date. Now what? Chances are I am already attracted to you, and there are things I like about you that have caused me to say yes, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have to put in an effort when we go out. First dates are not a time to sit back and coast. This is my first real look into what life dating you would entail.  If you want a second date, I suggest you make it seem desirable.  I am going to make it easy for you by giving you a list of simple rules to follow. These 6 rules will almost guarantee I’ll be sitting by the phone waiting for you to ask me out again when the nights over.

1. Be on time.

This is one of the most important rules I have. First impressions are everything. If you are really trying to graduate from friends to seeing each other naked, then for the love of god DO NOT SHOW UP LATE. This gives the impression that A) you don’t care and B) you’re not reliable. I know this may sound crazy to you, but to me this is a glimpse into a future that involves a lot of waiting around for you. So if you say you are going to pick me up at 7, please just be there at 7.


2. Dress presentable but appropriate.

Looks aren’t everything but look like you actually put thought into what you are wearing. If you’re taking me to a nice restaurant then wear a nice button down and pants. If we are going somewhere sporty or outdoors then dress appropriately, but don’t look like you just threw on the first outfit you could find on your bedroom floor. Make an effort to stay up to date on the latest styles. I understand as a man you don’t care as much what is “in” right now but update your wardrobe every now and then. No one wants to date someone that dresses like their dad.

I feel like this should go without saying but please have good hygiene. SHOWER. SHAVE. BRUSH YOUR TEETH. If you don’t then the message you are sending is you don’t care about impressing me, and that you are a man-child that I will have to take care of for the rest of my life. If I enter a relationship with you, I don’t want to be your mother.


3. Plan out a real date.

Put thought into what we are doing. If we are going to dinner and a movie, then make a reservation at the restaurant we are going to. Do this ahead of time if necessary and choose a realistic movie time that we can make. If I have to shovel my food down quickly because we’ll miss our movie if I don’t, then I will not be a happy camper. No one likes to feel rushed but you also don’t want a lot of awkward down-time in between activities either.

It‘s important to plan a date where you can talk and get to know me more. But, keep the conversation light on the first date. When people feel uncomfortable they tend to say weird things. I don’t want to hear about how your ex cheated on you or about some childhood trauma on the first date. Save that kind of stuff for later! Right now I just want to know the basics so I can determine if you are worth having awkward tipsy sex with.


4. Keep the drinking to a minimum.

Don’t get me wrong! I am all for having a beer or a glass of wine at dinner. Drinks loosen you up and can really open up the conversation and bring you out of your shell. What I am not for is carrying you home because you are too drunk to walk. I have been on too many first dates that end with some guy getting #whitegirlwasted and me calling a cab. Besides, getting that drunk on the first date leaves me with two very bad impressions. Either A) you couldn’t take one night of being out with me without getting drunk because you think I was awful or B) you’re an alcoholic that can’t make it through any night without getting that hammered.  Neither one of those impressions are going to lead to us going out again.


5. Be polite.

I don’t want to go out with someone who is rude to me or anyone else. Be polite. Hold the door open for me. Be nice to our waiter. Show me that if we enter a serious relationship at any point that you are a nice guy. Offer to pay on the first date. I am not saying that every time we go out you need to buy. I am a strong believer that women can pay for things on dates too. I just think that if you are taking someone out for the first time that offering to grab the check is the chivalrous thing to do. Remember guys, CHIVALRY IS NOT DEAD and if it is that’s only because you aren’t trying anymore.



The last thing I can say is have fun. Relax and be yourself. Don’t try too hard to make me laugh but let it happen naturally. If we are meant to go out again then we should be able to have good conversation and click naturally. The conversation and jokes shouldn’t feel forced. They will just come to you and if they don’t then we wouldn’t be good together anyway. So if the date doesn’t seem to be going well and you put in an effort, don’t sweat it. The whole point of dating is finding someone you can be happy with.

That’s it guys. This is your guide to dating me. If you follow all these rules and our personalities click then I can guarantee you will have me eating out of the palm of your hand. I know this is a lot of information and it seems daunting but just remember fundamentally we as people all want the same things. We want someone we can talk to, cuddle with when we need it, and who isn’t afraid to get weird in bed with us.




A girl who doesn’t go on many second dates.

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Marissa Trefry By
Marissa Trefry is a 20something girl who will probably go on at least one date with you. Thats it really. Follow her on twitter @marissatrefry.