Humor

Look At All These Fucking Unibrows

27 Jul , 2015  

Unibrows are kind of a rarity these days. But they weren’t always that way. In times of yore, almost everybody had a unibrow. That and polio. Anyways, here’s some pretty impressive Unibrows I thought you needed to see. Some of them come from fictional characters but, fuck it, once I hit publish it is no longer my problem.

1. Frida Kahlo

frida kahlo

from buzzfeed.com

Friday loved three things, art, monkeys and unibrows. She didn’t ONLY love three things, but I feel very confident that she at least loved those three things.

 

 

 

 

2. Josh Harnett

josh harnett

via allposters.com

What do you know about Josh Harnett? If the answer was “anything” that is more than me. He looks like he did pretty well in the 90s which, inexplicably, was a time when we demanded our celebrities look like Soviet inbreeding experiment spawn.










3. Fran from DodgeBall

fran

from moviepicturedb.com

I am 90% sure that this might be Will Forte or maybe his sister or something. I mean, you can kinda see it. It’s that strong Bavarian brow line. You know what I’m talking about.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4. Nicolas Cage

nicolas cage

from myfacewhen.net

I’m going to avoid the easiest meme/pun in internet history because it isn’t even that funny and just leave you here with this. He’s not even staring directly at you, but still you feel the deep, penetrating machismo of his gaze and unibrow defeating your soul.

 

 

 

 

 

5. Helga from Hey, Arnold

helg hey arnold

from heyarnold.wikia.com

Hey, Arnold was such a lazy show title. We never even found out what they wanted to say to him. Did they just want his attention? Also, what’s up with the, both being blonde?

EDIT: I just found out that Hey, Arnold was actually a spinoff from the Icelandic Children’s show Hallo, Aðalbert!

Edit 2: I am lying.

6. Bert from Sesame Street

bert sesame street

from fuckin wikipedia

It looks like a goddam caterpillar crawling across his forehead. I don’t know how kids are supposed to learn to count with that monstrosity on screen.

 

 

 

 

 

 

7. Bill Berry from R.E.M.

bill berry REM

from buzzfeed.com

Holy shit, I bet he picks up radio waves when he walks to close to towers. That’s a statement, right there. That’s devotion. I guess when you’re a badass drummer from Duluth, Minnesota, your life does not have time to be concerned with simple things like exposed flesh between your eyeballs.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

8. Jack Osbourne

jack osbourne

from buzzfeed.com

Remember when he was fat and like an angsty teenager on The Osbournes? I don’t think he always had a unibrow. I guess he lost all that weight and gained some confidence and decided that he didn’t need two eyebrows anymore. Good for him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

9. Anthony Davis

anthony davis

from totalprosports.com

When you’re 6’10 and make 7 million dollars a year, you can have as many or as few eyebrows as you want. He could go full Mona Lisa and shave em off and nobody would even be able to judge because they’d be too busy watching him dunk over everybody else and then Scrooge McDuck into his giant pile of money.

 

 

 

10. Wally Moon

wally moon

from buzzfeed.com

Who is Wally Moon? Well, besides being the Spirit of the Gashouse Gang (I dunno, sounds kinda old-timey and racist…) he was a 3 time all-star and 2 time word series champ. He also had more hair between his eyes than most 50 year old men. That’s actually a huge part of his success. He intimidated opposing pitchers with his complete disregard for personal appearance. And, you know why, it worked, by God it worked.

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you liked this, you should grow a unibrow and post a picture of it in the comments. If you can’t post a picture in the comments, just tell us you did. That’s good enough.

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Walter Blake Knoblock By  -    
Walter Blake Knoblock is a lot of things. Follow him on twitter @WBKnoblock and on