melted kayak

Sports

Look at this Fucking Kayak that got Struck By Lighting

29 Jul , 2015  

melted kayak

via imgur.com

Holy shit, look at this fucking melted kayak. Allegedly, this not utterly useless installation from the heavens above was struck by a goddam bolt of lightning. Can you imagine if you were on this when it got struck? No, you can’t, because no one can imagine being a charred corpse. You’d be dead as shit. Hopefully no one was on it when it got hit because they’d be fucked.

Getting struck by lightning is insanely unlikely. In the US, its like 1 in 700,000. So, basically, you have a better chance of moving to North Dakota and being the coolest person there than you do dying from lightning. But, still, 1 in 700k worries some people (idiots). So how do you and your kayak avoid being hit by a supercharged ray of energy? Luckily for you, I compiled this easy to understand list.

 

  • You don’t go out in a fucking thunderstorm.
  • You check the fucking weather
  • If you see a fucking storm, get out of the water and in your car or some shit.
  • If you’re stuck in a kayak in a storm and you’re fishing, don’t hold the fucking rods.
  • If you’re stuck like 20 miles out in the ocean and there is a storm ravaging above you, either take your chances or abandon ship. The water around the kayak is still going to be running with electricity, but the father away you are, the most likely is it to have dissapated to non-lethal level. That being said, abandoning your kayak in the middle of the ocean during a storm will probably fuck you over, as well.

Although, from the looks of this picture, it wasn’t struck out on water (given than its melted to the goddam dock) so I’m assuming that whoever owns this escaped electrocution free.

Walter Blake Knoblock By  -    
Walter Blake Knoblock is a lot of things. Follow him on twitter @WBKnoblock and on